Primer and Product

It's conference time once again and all are abuzz with busyness! Crazyness is the theme of the week but I haven't felt too stressed out thankfully. For this conference - The Time is Now with Bob Jones and Bobby Conner, Anthony Skinner and Amber Brooks - I am running the bookstore as a part of Catch the Fire USA. We just ordered new product and it arrived on Tuesday despite the lack of faith of Stacy. The new books are SO BEAUTIFUL!!! It's so exciting to have new things that hopefully people will want to purchase them! So with new books came the wonderful dilemma of where to put everything, and we are trying to make the bookstore a bit more attractive as well. Kathryn made a sketch for what we want it to look like and since we still have 3 days before the conference was to start we went out and bought shelves for the wall and paint to change the bookshelves from oak brown to chocolate/java brown. Yes, we were victorious and the bookstore went from piddly to chic and I am so proud!

One of the irritating issues of the project was the primer...I rather dislike the substance as it is much harder to wash off of ....everything; skin, laminate, etc. I somehow got the nasty stuff all the way up my thigh! What the heck. Kathryn's equivalent to paint thinner didn't really do much but thankfully I had picked up some Goo Gone at Walmart the other day and so you know now that it works on primer, on skin. Maybe I should write in to Tips from Eloise. As I was using it and the project seemed to be dragging on and on I kept thinking, "I will overcome. This primer will not defeat me." Not sure who really won in the end to be honest but the job is done and I'm quite proud. :D

Peace.

The Time is Now

The time is now for so many things. Or at least it feels that way. The time is now for something to give way in my life. I so want it to be that time; this in-between time and waiting seems to be getting a little stuffy. The thing is what is the other book end? What is it that I'm waiting to happen? What is it that is going to completely revolutionize my life and jump start me into something cool? Ha. 

We all experience the "in-between-ness" at some point or another though with varying degrees of feeling like we are in a barren wasteland of nothingness. Take high school for example. While hopefully not an entirely bad experience it is an in-between time that takes you from being a kid to being launched out into "the world" - or so some people call college. University is another, taking you from under your parents' roof to becoming more independent. For me I had the time between college and going to SOM and especially the time between SOM and moving to Raleigh where I felt very deeply the sense of "in-between-ness" and the ensuing antsy feeling of wanting to "get on with it". 

During those times I at least had a vague knowledge of where I was going next, what I wanted to be doing/what I was going to be doing. Now I'm just confused because I'm getting that antsy feeling wanting something to break but not knowing what that is in the slightest. The time is now for revelation. The time is now for breakthrough in yet other areas in my life. The time is now for relationships...wow, do I need some. I don't want to get into avoidance and denial issues again neglecting what God is doing in my under the surface, but I need something (ie people) to help occupy some of this thought time...something other than work, preferably. Grace. Grace to the race horse. Grace.

But one thing I want to know is this: have I been in so many short-term training situations (high school, college, study abroad, SOM, interning) that I have no concept of "settling down"? When I get to that place will I know how to plant roots and call a place 'home'? Am I even supposed to have any? I love traveling (though not really moving). Will I always be on the move? I guess I did get a prophetic word about that but, praise God, He did promise a "home base". That's nice. It would be lovely to be "home" right now....wherever that is. Yet I kinda feel the time for that is yet to come.

Peace.

In Love

Yes, love is in the air! The time is come to admit it: I am in love. It has been about two weeks since the discovery and I couldn't be more excited, happy, and energized. No, sorry it's not the boyfriend. Yet. That will come in a bit. At the moment, my love is called TurboFire, a high intensity cardio training program that a friend of a friend at church is letting our house borrow for a month. I LOVE IT!!! It is amazing and it makes me sweat buckets, which I actually enjoy. Some might find that odd, but I really do love jumping around and giving my heart a good workout. Breathing hard and using energy which in turn gives energy is such a great feeling. Most of it is based on kick-boxing with a little dance mixed in which is already a fun workout, the instructor is super positive and energetic, and it makes you feel good at the end.  I really don't want to have to give it back to the owner in a month. What am I going to do without it?! Getting out of shape again is not what I want to do.

Today the routine was called Fire 55 EZ meaning that it was 55 min and supposedly easy...? Yeah, right. Probably it didn't help that I had sort of just eaten but it was NOT an easy workout, but it was good. And I sweated through my shirt....I guess that makes it good, or at least beneficial.

And one thing I want to know is how instructors on fitness videos have their hair stay perfectly throughout the whole routine. Chalene always looks good, but she doesn't look overly made-up which I appreciate, however, along with her ponytail (of which I completely approve) she has side bangs that are never pinned back. There has to be some serious hairspray action going on there. Today I couldn't find an adequate bobby pin so I thought I would emulate; surely I could last one workout with hair in my face. Ha. Ha. Ha. My hair was wet and hanging down in strands before we even got to the second routine. How does she DO that? Not only does it stay in place but it doesn't get sweaty? Maybe they have high powered fans that whisk all the sweat away or they set the room at 50F or .... really I have no idea, but I don't think it's fair. :)

Peace

Book Madness

I'm soooooo happy and thankful that I have been blessed and healed to enjoy reading again! Reading is so fun! I'm almost done with The Return of the King which should help me have time for "more important" things. Like diving more into the Bible perhaps. :) There is so much allusion in the story of Aragorn, Frodo, and Gandalf; it's crazy! And fun to pick up. I'm also in the middle of a book called The Hidden Power of Prayer and Fasting by Mahesh Chavda which has been a really good (and easy) read. 

Along the lines of books, Catch the Fire USA just put in a substantial resource order to expand the bookstore and Catch the Fire Raleigh. I am SO SO, Oh, So excited. Honestly it was rather piddly and the product was super stagnant and we had no money so there was never anything new, different, or exciting happening in that area. We did even have Bibles! And we're a "church" bookstore!! Travesty. We were able to get an account with a distributing company so now we can buy books wholesale which helps immensely and it's in time for the conference this weekend!! Sa-weeet. That is what I have to say about it. Kathryn and I spent about four hours on Thursday re-pricing everything that we already had and tomorrow when everything comes in we'll get to do it all again! Oh, yay. I'm looking forward to a very successful weekend spreading the love of God through amazing books! Tangible presence of the Lord? ....I think so!

Growing Pains

Despite the assurance that I am loved and God never leaves and I am a daughter and countless other Truths that I know and believe, there are the occasional days where circumstances stir up emotions that say the opposite. Living on one's own is hard! Why can't I, when I run into uncharted territory - like setting up a new bank account, paying my first speeding ticket, or applying for a credit card - and am daunted by the thought of doing something slightly uncomfortable, turn the car around, go home and say, "Dad, what do I do? I don't know any of this."? There are so many things that I just don't want to deal with. *sigh* I need my dad to rescue me. He knew everything. Right? Well, we as kids at least think so.

These questions were on repeat in my head this morning as I was worrying about the threat of overdrafting my account and every other possible money question that rises to the surface. The Holy Spirit was, of course, right there telling me over and over again, "You are NOT alone. I AM right here. Don't worry. I am your Father and I do take good care of you. Why do you doubt that ALL my plans for you are good?" He did have to keep saying all this quite a few times before I could get past my own freaking out and listen to what He was saying. It still didn't seem like anything changed when I did but I want it to. 

It was rather shocking to me how despite knowing the Father's Love and all the inner healing I've received how much I still think like an orphan. So easily I fall into thinking that while God's end plan for me may be good, what He seemingly drags me through now will leave me hoping for a giant Tylenol when I get there. Yes, life is a journey but He hasn't left me. He still provides for me. And He loves me. And if He loves me why would and how could He wish pain or hurtful experiences on me? Not at all! God is faithful to use hurtful experiences to turn them into good things but He, Himself, will never cause me pain for "my good". PTL. I still don't truly get this but I believe it.

I am not alone. I'm not an orphan. I am a daughter. And God is my Father. :)

His love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me.

Peace.

On to the Next

Last night I finished the second installment of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy: The Two Towers. Though I didn't enjoy how it was completely separated into two parts, so much so that I was prone to forget the whole other storyline while reading the other, I found the book quite exciting. Much more so than the movies. Now I'm on to the third; Return of the King. Hope I have time to read it soon. And hope I don't become completely irresponsible in every other area in order to find the time to do so. ;) Haha...well I guess I better get to it!

Peace.

Yum Yum & Fall

I love living in the South. We have had a nice long and full summer, it is still warm, and fall technically starts on Friday. I can stand this as fall as long as winter follows suit. It has been nice to have a bit more breezy weather so we can open our windows. Last night I slept with mine open...how I miss that! Though tragically I did not have the soothing sounds of 18-wheelers rumbling down I-465 to lull me to sleep it was nice to have the outside sounds and fresh air. Currently I'm enjoying the neighbors' jazz music floating through the window. :) 

I also love working for a produce company that subsidizing my grocery bill considerably and provides a wide variety of fruits and veggies to take home each week. Most of my cooking adventures consist of me pulling everything out of the fridge, looking at it all, and attempting to use as much as I can in one dish in hope that I can cook it before it goes bad. Usually it end up in some sort of chicken-vegetable stir-fry with the spices as the fluctuating variable. Yesterday I sauteed a variation of red pepper, white onion, mushrooms, and tomatoes and served it on top of chicken breasts. Yum! Oh, it's so good.

Today was the day I finally got around to making my squash soup. My housemate Abby asked for the recipe to which I replied, "Um, I don't use recipes..." But she and Annie tried it once it was done and said it was good. I think it turned out well too. So here is the just formed recipe for those looking for a nice way to welcome in the new season of fall! All recipes are open to the individual interpretation of the chef and will probably turn out fine no matter how you mix it. Below is just what I did this time. It always changes!


Kat's Sweet Potato Squash Soup
1 Acorn squash
3 Good-sized sweet potatoes
1 Large white onion, diced
4 cloves of garlic, crushed
2 T Olive Oil
1 15 oz. can of diced tomatoes (or use fresh, whatever is on hand)
1 15 oz. can of chicken broth
2 cups of milk (I used 1%)
Basil, Oregano, Salt, Pepper, Red Pepper Flakes


Wash all the veggies. Cut the squash in half and take out pulp and seeds. Cut into fourths and place in stock pot with 3" of water on med-hi. Peel the sweet potatoes and cut in large chucks and add to pot. When squash can be pierced with a fork remove from pot and cut off skin. Take out sweet potatoes and reserve veggie water. 


Heat olive oil in pot and saute crushed garlic and diced onions about 5 min. Add squash, sweet potatoes, and veggie water and let cook on med for a while (sorry didn't look at the time... but this whole thing takes maybe 1.5 hours). Add tomatoes, salt (at least 1 t.), pepper, red pepper, basil (1 T.), and oregano (1 T.). Add about a cup of milk. When you're able, mash up the squash and sweet potato with potato masher. Test concoction and add more garlic, salt, red pepper flakes, and milk. Keep cooking to cook off some of the liquid.


When it tastes/looks good blend soup mixture in blender in about 2 cup increments. Add broth to each batch before blending. Return soup to pot for a final taste test. Blend in another 1/2 c. of milk to ensure creaminess. Serve immediately or allow to cool before transferring to containers. Freezes well. Makes....a lot. Enjoy!


Peace.

Boundaries & Other Connundrums

Boundaries are good things. Or so some say. This has been one teaching that is addressed in SOM (though our class missed it...maybe that says something), and, because it came from a respected source, is accepted without question. Now, I'm simply confused. Or perhaps the state is more that of pondering and contemplation, debating what I truly believe about the subject.

Boundaries are good.
In life there need to be definitive lines of delineation separating some things from others. "This is my half of the bedroom, sister, and that is yours. Stay over there." Most aren't too keen on having their neighbors throw trash or plant random flowers in their yard, thus, appreciating the reality of property lines. And we all need our personal space: "This is my bubble....and you are invading!" 

I think the lesson of personal boundaries has some rather large obstacles to overcome. First of all, when little we are all taught to share with others so confusion can set in when we are now grown up and are told, "You can say 'no'." Can we really? Are we truly allowed the privilege of deciding what we do and do not accept as responsibility? Well, yes. And especially when dealing with highly demanding or forceful people, or manipulating ones, passive aggressive ones, controlling ones, etc. it's the mark of a mature and self-assured person to stand one's ground and say that two-letter word that used to be so easy to say when we were 2 but now has become so mysteriously difficult to utter: NO! That is a personal boundary...and it's quite healthy.

The Art of Selflessness.
This sort of ties into boundaries yet isn't the opposite side of the coin by any means. -Some do say, however, that we shouldn't have boundaries because we should be open to any and everyone no matter their need and be like Jesus, always showing compassion to all.- I don't really think it is the same argument but whatever. So...selflessness. What happened to consideration of others? Common courtesy? Harmony? Peace? Have these things vanished entirely from my life? Does no one stand for them any more? Care about them....at all?!?! Oh, how I dearly miss when the majority of the people I was surrounded by were more considerate and helpful than demanding and "out-for-themselves". I find myself encountering more and more people that seem desperate to look out only for themselves and almost are scared to think where they would be left if they even tried to "meet-in-the-middle." Obviously everything is contextual, and maybe I'm being unreasonable, but must we make each others' lives miserable?


Isn't it great how when we are most offended the light often shines brightest on our own faults? I'm seeing that even as I observe this "starving-dog" attitude in others (eg I have to fight for every little thing I can cuz if I don't someone else will get it and then I'll never get anything or they'll either lord it over me), I can see it in myself. Comes from woundings, no doubt. Wounded people wound people out of their woundings. How pathetic. And sad. And irritating. Christ bled so we could be healed and set free! Why can't we let the hurt go and move on? *sigh* Hopefully I'm making progress here.


Perfectionism.
"Humility is of greater value to God than perfection." ~Misty Edwards
Question of the age: How do I truly grasp this yet live, function, and work in a society/world that is works/results-oriented? I don't want to be performance-based, yet when you are quickly reprimanded for what you didn't do or didn't do well and only praised for what you do and not the effort you are displaying, what kind messages are you supposed to believe? Actions speak louder than words, right? Well, when the above continually happens while the words are opposite, what am I supposed to think? I want to live for Humility; it sounds more fulfilling and rewarding in the long run. Yet how do I embrace being non-performance-oriented without totally tanking at my job/my responsibilities/etc? Papa, what is your remedy for this muddle of a mess we have made?


Peace.

Jerking Cars and Freedom

This week in Greenville, MS has been wonderful. The people of Grace Outreach Bible Church have been so hospitable, welcoming, and encouraging. They have been such a blessing to us even as we have been ministering to them all week, and there has been such transformation. I love breakthrough! I love seeing God work because there is no way that man can do work in the heart like He can. We have made such good friends and been blessed in so many ways. Only God.

We got to eat at Doe's Eat Place on Wednesday which is a famous, old, and run-down restaurant. Kathryn and I share a filet and I must say it was THE best steak we've ever eaten. Several in our party said that they thought they had had steak before but after Doe's they realized they hadn't really eaten steak until they ate at Doe's. You know how a lot of times you have steak and it is a bit of a jaw work out? This was NOTHING like this. It was one of the most enjoyable steak experiences ever. :) If you're ever around Greenville on the Mississippi look into investing in a Doe's steak. It's worth it!

I've been learning to drive a manual car this week; talk about an adventure. Before leaving Raleigh, Kathryn took me to a parking lot and we spent 20 min practicing and then hit the road. haha. The past few days I've driven to church and I'm proud to say the number of stalls have decreased. I very much appreciate Kathryn's easy-teaching nature and I'm quite glad that I can laugh at myself rather than getting frustrated. So the next hurdle is to be able to mount the driveway without killing the engine. :) Getting better makes driving less stressful but I still think driving a stick shift takes too much concentration. Should be pretty good by the time I get back to NC.

Peace.

M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I

This week is my first ILSOM! ILSOMs (International Leaders School of Ministry) are a shortened and condensed version of the Core Value Month that I went through up in Toronto - which I can't believe was just a year ago! I'm here to help - run the bookstore, do registration, be on ministry team, etc. - but I'm also getting to take notes and get a refresher course at the same time which I'm thankful for. Getting ready for it was a bit hectic but now that I know what is involved, it is my hope that for the next event there will be a lot less procrastination. 

Kathryn and I drove the whole 13hrs on Saturday night in hopes of beating some of the effects of Tropical Storm Lee. What a doozy! We were both glad we did it though because we were then able to attend the 11:00am service at the church where the ILSOM was going to be held. This way we were able to meet people and get a feel for the week and settle in a bit more. 

Sunday was outstanding! We got into town completely famished, found a diner for breakfast, and put on some "church" clothes in the bathroom. We were still under dressed. The lovely Southern folks at Grace Outreach Bible Church were a bit decked out with the worship team dressed in African attire and all the ladies in skirts and dresses. Despite the sleep deprivation it was easy to see/feel the Spirit of God all over the place. The worship was incredible and Pastor Reuben and his wife, Linda, are very prophetic. Before we took the communion elements he started calling out words of knowledge and ministries to people in the church. Seeing healing was incredible and fun to be a part of.

Kathryn and I are staying with a lady named Rose who couldn't be more hospitable. She even gave up her bedroom for us! After naps we went out for Mexican where we were about to get our food and the storm caused the power went out! Several people were told their food wouldn't be able to be prepared but ours came out right then nice and hot! Thank you, Jesus! We were quite hungry by that point. After a movie on the couch with our host we hit the sack again and slept quite well. :)

Today Stacy spoke on the Power of the Cross, Duncan on our Oneness with Christ, Buck (from CTF Houston) on Hearing God's Voice, and Kate on Soaking. The hearts of the people here are so open and ready for everything God has to pour out. I'm excited to see all the breakthrough and transformation that is going to happen this week! PTL.

Peace.