Yea Hoo

The conference has been amazing and much fun (worship was fantastic last night: strong and powerful and full of love) and now I am mostly ready to take my suitcase downstairs and head off to the lovely Pearson International Airport to fly to Finland via LONDON!!! It is our desire and prayer that we are able to see some of the city during our lengthy layover there. :) Can't wait.

Prayer Points for Team Finland (and Italy, Peru, Iceland, and Alabama):
- good team connection, that everyone is respectful of others' time, feelings, etc. and that we all put in the effort to make the trip excellent
- that we will be pure vessels able to pour out all the love, peace, joy, and power that God has given us
- that all logistics are taken care of/ things run smoothly, even more than we think they could
- signs, wonders, miracles, and healings

Happy New Year's! The things God has planned for us this year are going to blow our minds! Can't wait...Come, Lord!

The Glory of Confinement

This was the topic of Duncan Smith's sermon this evening: The Glory of Confinement. At first several of us were confused but essentially he was talking about full submission to God. He told us a story where the Holy Spirit asked him when Joseph's greatest moment of confinement was. Duncan replied, "When he was in the dungeon." The correct answer was when Joseph accepted the position as second in command to Pharaoh because he was no longer his own man and never would be for the rest of his life. He was now all about the Pharaoh's business and would now always answer to him. This can also be described in the paradox of the corporate ladder. We strive to reach the top believing that being our own boss will make our lives easier when in fact the higher we climb the more "unfree" we become. So in terms of the Christian walk our greatest moment of confinement will be in the split second when we die and are then taken into heaven where we will be forever all about the King's business. Truly we will no longer be our own person. Amazing. Of course as we pray Heaven to Earth it should now be our heart's desire for us to step into a place of confinement now, full submission to God's will, heart, and desire for our lives. It is not about our destiny; it is about fulfilling His purpose. It is about dying to ourselves and becoming the pure, empty vessels that He can use to pour out His glory and love on all those we meet. Oh, this is what I want. I love Him so much.
Peace

i'm back

Christmas was good. I love my family. Breakthrough is evident which makes me excited. Did tons of shopping, but got a load of deals. Ate gobs of chocolate and had a chill and low key white Christmas. Delightful. Shared a bit at church first Sunday. Had fun with the Holy Spirit. He gave a short "sermon" on faith for me second Sunday. Awesome. Flight a bit delayed on Monday. Took an hour to get my suitcase. And had a lovely walk back to school from the bus stop. Yay, I'm back. No SGL's= stay up til 3am watching movies. :)

Being back in Toronto has been wonderful. Since we all our classes are over and we don't have any pressing duties everyone has been hanging out in the halls and lounges as opposed to hiding away in rooms or attending to responsibilities. Time is short. In a day in a half I will be on a plane again but this time to hop the pond. So excited but it still seems far away/not possible at the moment. We had our last pre-trip outreach prep meeting today. Prior to break Isaac and I were given the task of coming up with a drama or skit to perform while on outreach. We decide on "King of Hearts" a sketch I performed ages ago with the BOL youth group (when there was one). Didn't do much else about it until we found out that Lizi (outreach leader) wanted us to start practicing it today. Uhhh.... We got it all sorted out and it's going to be a bit better than the original (which is a bit dramatically cheezy). Added several other parts and such and I'm thinking we should probably get another name for all the changes we made. Not sure we are the performing sort but we had fun attempting to rehearse. I'll let you know how it turns out and if we were able to keep a straight face throughout. Doubt it.

Tonight starts HEAVY RAIN...it's our New Year's conference. Definitely not as large as ONETHING (wish i could go there) but I'm so freakin' excited. Can't wait to dance and go crazy. Duncan Smith is speaking tonight after a major rock out by the Freshwind Band. 

Home Again

I love Christmas time though this year because I've been away and in a bit of a different atmosphere in the pre-holiday season I haven't had all the time to get hyped up on "Christmas!" things. Not sure whether this is good or bad, it's just different. Part of me used to hate Christmas for all the commercialism and what not but now I tend to pass over that a bit and chill out realizing materialism can only have a hold on me if I let it. Christmas is about Jesus. God became man so that my debt might be paid and that I may be reconciled to Him, that I might be in right standing with God, and that I might enjoy my place as His daughter in His Kingdom. How wonderful is that?! Christmas is great. Deck the Halls, the King has come!

MIRACLE: So in lieu of Mom driving 20 hours to come get me from Toronto and bring me back to Indy, we bought a plane ticket for me. It was set for Friday night but for some reason I was looking at other tickets the Monday before and saw there was one for six hours earlier where I would arrive at 4pm instead of 10pm which sounded a lot better to me. This would be great cuz I could hang out more with Kris, I might be able to see friends, and just be HOME before everyone went to bed anyway. Essentially it felt like I would have another whole day at home. I emailed the ticket company to see if it might be possible to switch and breakthrough one was that a real person emailed me back and said they were looking into it! Yay, she didn't say the seats were all taken or that it was impossible! *sigh of relief* 
{Side Note: one of my big struggles is with faith- believing that God will bless me in the everyday life-type stuff. Sure I know He is a good God and when He blesses me out of the blue, I love it and rejoice, but it's hard to believe for something that I actually asked for. Many many people have spoken words that God is going to give me ridiculous favor, wants to pour out His favor on me, that He's going to give financial blessings, etc. and I really felt like this was one instant where it might come to be. I could have easily not emailed about the tickets or given up when they didn't email me back, but I felt this was a exercise of faith that could bring about a huge blessing.}
The next day I think I emailed to see if anything had come up and the lady said no and that she would let me know when she knew something. I let it go for two days. It was now the day before and the flight I had been wanting was no longer listed on the travel sight because it was for the next day. The stress is totally rising; the day before I had gotten a headache that turned into a migraine and I almost lost my dinner. This day feels like it might follow the same pattern. I ask Mom to call in because I had to go to CBN and I'd check in later. Judith talked with me after and helped me give up some of the stress and prayed with me. You know, we were not meant to carry such heavy burdens... easy to pick them up though and hard to let them go... 

Fortunately for me the internet at SOM lags a bit so I didn't receive Mom's comment right away but I did receive an email for another lady working on my case: she was trying but wasn't getting anywhere. I decide to maybe go in to the airport early and trying the ticket counter in the morning. I go out with friends for one last Hoo-rah and pray for the best. Mom's message had been along the lines of "sorry, but it looks like you're SOL. see you at 10." And that is totally fine, it really didn't look like anything was going to happen, but for some reason this was a BIG deal to me and I was not going to let go so easily. I wanted a breakthrough in my life and I wanted faith. Who knows what kind of faith I was having at that moment (authentic or fabricated) but I had to hold on to something!

Went to the airport around 12pm hoping for the 2pm flight. The queue for the baggage check-in was HUUUUGGGEEE while that for the executive class was nothing. I start wheeling toward the former and then head back thinking, "I have the authority. I have class, and besides if they send me back what have I lost, this line is a mile long?" I walk up to a lady, say 'my flight is for 8' and 'may I switch to 2?' She does a little clicking and says that's just fine!!!!! O WOW. REALLY? Online the penalty of switching is $165 so I'm praying for not that and she looks at me concerned and says, "Oh, well that's going to um be $70." *!*!*!*!*!*!*!* haha I about threw my card at her. OK! Now my bag was overweight so I had to pay for that too but I pretty much didn't care. All the while I'm thinking, "God you are good, God you are good." but still inside me is this place of doubt, as if all of this could have been coincidence. Possible, right? Maybe if you believe in coincidence, I guess. I thought, "Maybe I should ask if I can have a window seat....well, no, you shouldn't push your luck." She does all the checking with my passport and all that and turns to me and says, "Well, your seat is now a window seat, is that ok?" haha I about laughed out loud. What an amazing God I serve. I can't believe he loves me this much. And yet, truly, it is so much more than I could ever love.

All on the plane ride I was shaking my head an grinning like an idiot. And it was amazing to be home early; it really made all the difference. I was able to unpack (and dump all my clothes in the laundry room), see a few friends at a Christmas gig, go shopping for my friends coming to stay the night, and get the house ready for them (bake, clean, etc.). So nice! It was a bit crazy, when I got home there was a bit of a culture shock for me...probably one of the only times I've had it. I was no longer in a building where 60 of my closest friends live next door to me, where my classroom in just downstairs, and where the Holy Spirit is so free to move in all of us that He so often does and we see it. Nope, now I was home, which is more an more not feeling like "home"; I know soon I will be leaving it for "good" which is probably a good thing considering I am -- years old. Crazy. Because of this mini-shock I was quite excited that Becky, Sandra, and Joni from school were stopping by the house on their way to Kansas City and CO. While it may seem lame that it had only been about 14 hours since I had seen them I already missed them sooooooo badly. My spirit was so homesick. Can't wait to go back even though it won't be for long. In the meantime I am enjoying home and family and shopping and good food and my bed and internet past midnight and a shower I can move in and real carpet and my kitties and....
Peace.

While the photos upload...

Awesome story to share = Wednesday, our "anointing with oil day"

For our last week of school (soooo sad! how on earth did the time speed by me so fast?! wow, i have absolutely no idea! craziness) we had John and Carol Arnott with us. They are such lovely people and their hearts are exactly where all of ours should be: completely engrossed in love for Jesus and the desire to be the pure spotless Bride. Jesus is coming! Let's be ready, shall we?

So before sending the students off on outreach the pastors and leaders consecrate/commission/anoint us. This consists of us wearing old clothes or trash bags and the SGL's and pastors praying/prophesying over us while pouring about a cup of olive oil on our heads and hands and feet and wherever else. We went by outreach group and mine was in the middle so I got to watch several teams go ahead of mine. The Spirit was so thick, which is obviously to be expected since we are being set apart for Him and this is a holy act initiated by God. In the OT priests and kings were anointed by the man of God with a horn of oil. Erin (roomie) and I both had our cameras out and between the two of us (and our helpful stand-in photographers) we gathered over 540 pictures! So good. I've never been anointed like that before and it was a very cool experience. We definitely were drenched and very slippery afterward, but I felt so clean on the inside and holy after it all. 

Have a look...

He that began a good work in you...

...is faithful to bring it to completion.
 Amen. As we are quickly approaching the end of school many of us are getting anxious about how far we have come since the beginning of September and comparing it to how far we thought we would have come in such a time. Have I really grown that much? Have I made progress? Am I becoming the person that I've always wanted to be and still hope to become? Thanks to the encouraging words of Sarah Jackson and the continual reminders of Daddy, I am remembering the fact that I am not done yet. He is not done with me yet. PTL. Just because we are going on Xmas break, just because we are done with the school and are on to outreach, and just because we only have one more month before we are kicked once more into the "real world" (whatever that means...i hate this term and think i will forever stop using it...ok, good) doesn't mean that we are done or that God has done all the work that He is going to do in our lives and that forevermore we are on our own or stuck where we are right now. Nope, what a lie. God never slumbers nor sleeps and He is fo' sho' not done with me yet. Revelations are still coming and issues are of course still arising. Makes me know I'm not dead yet.

This week we have John and Carol Arnott with us. John talked with us this morning and we had our last soaking time this afternoon. I'm working through identity, openness, trust, and knowing v believing issues. haha all huge I know and such core issues. Amazing how interconnected things are. If I think about it too much it makes my head spin leaving me back where I started: knowing I just have to trust and believe God is in control. :)

Good Quote: Honor is the fruit of love. 
Maybe I already wrote that here but it was from the Jacksons last week and quite impactful.


Peace.

Seems like a bullet point kind of day

- Shame to Honor week was great; I really enjoyed Peter and Heather Jackson. It turned out to be one of those topics where I thought I was all sorted out but in fact I have a lot to work through. It all comes back down to Identity.
- Isn't that funny that that was my 2nd sermon topic? So, I finished my sermon on Identity to turn into my outreach leaders but then I learned more in class so I'll have to do some revisions. Hopefully I will keep learning about it. I need it.
- Tomorrow BABES are leading the youth meeting all the way through again. I don't think I'm doing much for it oddly enough. Maybe I will push the arrow keys to move the PowerPoint forward during worship. Did I mention that I sang for the youth worship last week? Well, I did. It was interesting.
- Enjoying my last weekend here. So excited to come home for Christmas. Packing will be a bear this week but I know I will enjoy it. Today was a lazy day and tomorrow I plan on going downtown for one last adventure in the city. Woot.
- Over break I just want to rest and soak and such but plans are already piling up and that is good and bad I guess. Maybe I will have to pull in the reins a bit. I tend to be very good at filling up my schedule fast. Either way it will be an awesome Christmas. Yay for family and Jesus' birthday!
- Just watched Inception with Leonardo DiCaprio. Very good, I recommend it. It's directed by Christopher Nolan who is really good at putting together mentally stimulating movies nicely.
- Peace.

Honor

This week we have Peter and Heather Jackson, the foundering directors of SOM, with us teaching about the Glory of Sonship which can also be called from Shame to Honor. Interesting that we are learning about Honor after we have already had our guys' and girls' honoring days. For me this is actually a good thing because it will hopefully solidify the revelations and lessons I was learning last week - bringing some logic to the feelings and such. 

As previously written last Monday was guys' honoring which was one of the most enjoyable days of my life. The whole day I was wishing I could just do so much more so that the guys would realize just how special and loved they are, by us and by Daddy. The Tuesday after wasn't all that fun though. First I was physically drained and since I had nothing else to work for my emotions started to come forward and demand the attention that they weren't receiving otherwise. The whole day I struggled with the entire idea of honor which you would've thought I understood considering the day prior. The main issue was the frightening thought that with guys' honoring over all I had to look forward to was Saturday....girls' honoring. It absolutely terrified me at the thought of an entire day dedicated to guys being sweet on me. And the thought that it scared me scared me. But really when was the last time you were honored? Truly honored? I'm guessing not too recently for most of us which isn't right of course, but even that which isn't right often becomes habit. 

Soooo I spent the whole soaking time wrestling with this issue (yes, I was actually awake for the entire session which was a first for me) and God showed me how being able to receive honor from others is in the same vein as receiving love from Him (and others too). If I don't open up my heart - my whole heart - to the love He is pouring in, and I keep part of it closed off because of self-protection or whatever you want to call it, well then that part won't ever be affected by that love. If your heart is closed, nothing's going to get in and touch it. Duh. In terms of self-protection I guess that's a good thing but what people don't really understand is that if you block your heart for fear of the bad, your heart is also blocked off to the good. So keeping the heart closed is a huge block against God's love coming in. And if I can't receive the love of God, then how on earth will I be able to receive the love and honor of others? And how did this faulty system come into my life in the first place? Do I not have any experience in receiving love and honor that it freaks me out this much? 

Of course I have received love and honor in my life....lots of it, but it goes back to what I said, if there is even one part of the heart blocked, the heart is going to be part dead and unaffected by the love coming in. So open up your heart in its entirety to Papa and let Him completely saturate it with His healing love so that you may also receive the love, honor, and affection of others. :) For me, the rest of the week was about repairing and preparing and as you can read below, Saturday was INCREDIBLE and tons of fun. Life is a journey, don't forget to take pit stops and learn something new along the way.
Peace.

Pics of Princess Day

The beautiful chandelier the guys constructed and suspended from the ceiling.

Our make-over victim! I love you, Joe!

The vicious dragon we attempted to shot down.

Some of the guys thought it would be cool for us if they experienced the thrill of waxing.

The guys serenading us in the morning before breakfast.

Sorry these aren't in order, but I wanted to give you a bit of a peak of what the day held. These show most of the fun parts but the honoring ceremonies, though not pictured, were by far the most meaningful.

Living in a Fairy Tale

Yesterday was Girls' Honoring Day! The guys are absolutely amazing, they put so much time and effort into making our day enjoyable and memorable, and I love them so much! The night before we had invitations on our door announcing we would have breakfast delivered to us at 10 the next morning (gracious since it was a Saturday) and to be ready for a day of "mirth and merriment". All the girls were kicked out of the regular hang out areas that night so the guys could decorate and prepare so we had to resort to our staying up late in our rooms giggling like school girls with the anticipation of a kid on Christmas Eve. We didn't go to bed too early...but we did get to sleep in a bit, until we were woken up by the drums practicing downstairs.

The first round of sweetness was the band of sharply dressed men with guitars standing outside our doorways singing "No One" by Alicia Keys and other such songs to us. Gorgeous. We received our previously ordered breakfasts on trays accompanied by a red rose, our first of many throughout the day. At 11 room 214 was escorted by the handsome Dale Small to the auditorium where we were greeted by all the gentlemen on one knee. They gave a very heartfelt, sincere, and moving intro to how this was our day to be princesses, and that they just wanted to honor us for who we are and how special we are to them. I cried. We had a great worship set and then we started our princess training. First was the manual: Princess Diaries movie. Second we were tested: each small group visited six different stations where we put our princess skills to the test. One was a photo shoot, one we acted out a short skit (written by "Prince William" and absolutely hilarious...it was called "Euthanasia" and loosely based on the "Good Samaritan"), one was putting on make up on a mannequin aka one of the guys (bless their hearts!), one we practiced defending ourselves from a vicious dragon by shooting him with paintballs, and two were problem solving exercises. All was so well planned out and was a ton of fun.

Next came more sentiment. They had an entire group photo (complete with dresses) and then took us into the chapel where they gave us our "diplomas" for finishing the school. Along with the diplomas we each received a unique flower with another scroll attached. We learned the meaning of each of our flowers and were given time to read the scrolls. The small one had a Bible verse and characteristics written around it and the "diploma" had comments that several of the guys had written just for us. AMAZING!! Hugs all around and they prayed for us and let us soak it all in. We had until dinner to do whatever with the enticing option of a lovely foot massage available in the "garden terrace." Fabulous. 

We all dressed cutsy for dinner and were met again with studly men and had our pictures taken. Dinner was FANTASTIC. There were roses at each chair, and Jonathan is a chef and he totally outdid himself. We had a legit salad with good dressing followed by penne with well seasoned chicken breast topped with spinach and balsamic alongside delicious vegetables. Sparkling grape juice and lime water were the beverages and for dessert.... CHOCOLATE MOUSSE!!! 

After dinner there was another honoring ceremony...and more tears. The guys spoke the words of the Father and honored us for who we are to them and to Him, they apologized for any time they have dishonored us, they apologized for any time that ANY other man has dishonored and hurt us, and they spoke of our true design (Johannes wrote a beautiful account of the creation and purpose of woman- amazing). Once we had removed the mascara stains from our cheeks the entertainment began and we were rolling on the floor and laughing til our sides hurt. Wow, I love these guys. This had definitely best one of the best days ever. I feel so honored and loved.