At least there was sun
When I went for my run
Because other than that
It wasn't much fun
NC is so beautiful
Though the hills can be a bother
When you are out of shape (like I)
It makes things a lot harder
Then there was the bike ride
First of the season
With cars whipping by my side
One wonders if I have reason
My legs weren't ready
For that kind of commitment
Wind gusts against me uphill
Progress slow with such resistance
But, hey, I'm alive
Surviving my ride on Buffaloe Road
At least there was sun
Now I'm not going to moan.
:)
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Testimonies and Trials
Aqui estoy en Raleigh. So here I am in Raleigh! I finally made it. haha. After two months of thinking this was so far in the future it was hard to contemplate, here I am. I got in on Monday, this week is supposed to be for settling in and finding a job, and next week I start out at the church. I still feel in flux which is difficult but again and again I come back to the place of knowing who I am and who God is and how faithful He is to me every moment.
Testimonies: In between Toronto and Raleigh I had two months to recoop, gather a few required items, and plan for a new adventure. The major item was a car and later, with the crash of my own, a laptop was added to the list as well as funds to cover such things. It came down to two weeks before and not much progress had been made so I kicked it into gear and actually started looking. Before it was kinda hoping that God would drop one in my lap. Through talking with others I got in touch with an awesome guy. Talked with him Monday and went out to the car auction to look around. He bought a car for me Tuesday and I picked it up on Wednesday, the day Larry had said would be our "deadline" for a car. God, you are so good! How He works things out just amazes me and makes me laugh.
I still needed a laptop but didn't really cosider it vital to existence and wasn't ready to pay for one either. My funds are depleted and I still have a loan to pay off and will have to start paying rent here soon. Went out with a friend and chatted and later that night she called and said if I wanted it I could have her dad's old, but hardly used laptop that he wasn't ever going to. What?! Sweet. So that is what I'm using now. It's basic and I might look for and upgrade later, but it gets internet and it has Word. What else could I need? Besides a webcam to skype friends....and iTunes.... :)
Another big praise is that I'm here. The drive was pretty easy and though MapQuest said it would be a bit over 11 hours I made it in a little over 10, which is awesome. Listened to a couple of teaching CDs and chatted with friends, and even received a phone call from my brother! Not a bad trip. Went to bed early and got about 11 hours to make up for it all. haha.
Trials: First things is in my head. With all the things coming up in my life that I need provision for it is so easy to get into the mindset that I have to do something about it and make everything work out. But as I listened to Joyce Meyer on the drive down, "Nothing is possible with man" and until we realize that we can't come to the conclusion that "everything is possible with God." *sigh* Why is it so easy to get downtrodden forgetting who I am and the authority I carry and the fact that God is my Father and wants to bless me every moment of my life? Why is it so easy to not believe all this? So already over the past few days I have to constantly come back to the place of trusting God and remaining in His peace.
Number two is I need a job. Not the most favorite activity I must say. It is so much easier if you know people but I did just move down here. I have applied at a handful of places so please pray for wisdom, direction, and success.
Um, the lovely car I mentioned above, which was awesome on the mountains in West Virgina (probably because it's half the size of a minivan!) and is supposed to get great gas mileage popped up with the check engine light today. Not the sight one wants to see. I'm declaring healing, but will also be researching where to take it to check it out. I know not too much about cars.
I know it has only been a few days but I really need to feel connected here, which is why I am really looking forward to church Sunday and work on Monday. Need to build up the social life a bit cuz I am feeling a bit lonely. And I need a job so I have something else to do with my time. :)
Can't wait for the trials to turn into testimonies! Stay tuned.
Peace.
Testimonies: In between Toronto and Raleigh I had two months to recoop, gather a few required items, and plan for a new adventure. The major item was a car and later, with the crash of my own, a laptop was added to the list as well as funds to cover such things. It came down to two weeks before and not much progress had been made so I kicked it into gear and actually started looking. Before it was kinda hoping that God would drop one in my lap. Through talking with others I got in touch with an awesome guy. Talked with him Monday and went out to the car auction to look around. He bought a car for me Tuesday and I picked it up on Wednesday, the day Larry had said would be our "deadline" for a car. God, you are so good! How He works things out just amazes me and makes me laugh.
I still needed a laptop but didn't really cosider it vital to existence and wasn't ready to pay for one either. My funds are depleted and I still have a loan to pay off and will have to start paying rent here soon. Went out with a friend and chatted and later that night she called and said if I wanted it I could have her dad's old, but hardly used laptop that he wasn't ever going to. What?! Sweet. So that is what I'm using now. It's basic and I might look for and upgrade later, but it gets internet and it has Word. What else could I need? Besides a webcam to skype friends....and iTunes.... :)
Another big praise is that I'm here. The drive was pretty easy and though MapQuest said it would be a bit over 11 hours I made it in a little over 10, which is awesome. Listened to a couple of teaching CDs and chatted with friends, and even received a phone call from my brother! Not a bad trip. Went to bed early and got about 11 hours to make up for it all. haha.
Trials: First things is in my head. With all the things coming up in my life that I need provision for it is so easy to get into the mindset that I have to do something about it and make everything work out. But as I listened to Joyce Meyer on the drive down, "Nothing is possible with man" and until we realize that we can't come to the conclusion that "everything is possible with God." *sigh* Why is it so easy to get downtrodden forgetting who I am and the authority I carry and the fact that God is my Father and wants to bless me every moment of my life? Why is it so easy to not believe all this? So already over the past few days I have to constantly come back to the place of trusting God and remaining in His peace.
Number two is I need a job. Not the most favorite activity I must say. It is so much easier if you know people but I did just move down here. I have applied at a handful of places so please pray for wisdom, direction, and success.
Um, the lovely car I mentioned above, which was awesome on the mountains in West Virgina (probably because it's half the size of a minivan!) and is supposed to get great gas mileage popped up with the check engine light today. Not the sight one wants to see. I'm declaring healing, but will also be researching where to take it to check it out. I know not too much about cars.
I know it has only been a few days but I really need to feel connected here, which is why I am really looking forward to church Sunday and work on Monday. Need to build up the social life a bit cuz I am feeling a bit lonely. And I need a job so I have something else to do with my time. :)
Can't wait for the trials to turn into testimonies! Stay tuned.
Peace.
Monday, March 7, 2011
ho hum
Being at home, which for the moment in indiana, has made me feel like I'm not on an adventure, but thinking past over the last month I realize just how in error I am. February, which is the shortest and longest month of the year has been jam-packed with so many things it has lived up to this description. It's strange to think that in the first two months of the yeah I have already been to four different countries, and in this last month I've been in four different states. Craziness. I guess God took me seriously when I said I like to travel.
Now is the time for the spring School of Ministry to begin and my FB news feed is filling up with all the comments of those returning and I am shattered. I have a friend from here going and when the idea came up I was thisclose to driving up with her right then so I could see people. Really chatting over the computer is no where close to being enough when it comes to conversing with the ones you love. I will, however, try to do better and make the most of the glorious technology we have. paabbbsst.
New things are on the horizon like cleaning my room and trusting God for my life. Two monumental tasks to be sure. Best get on that.
Peace.
Now is the time for the spring School of Ministry to begin and my FB news feed is filling up with all the comments of those returning and I am shattered. I have a friend from here going and when the idea came up I was thisclose to driving up with her right then so I could see people. Really chatting over the computer is no where close to being enough when it comes to conversing with the ones you love. I will, however, try to do better and make the most of the glorious technology we have. paabbbsst.
New things are on the horizon like cleaning my room and trusting God for my life. Two monumental tasks to be sure. Best get on that.
Peace.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Faster than a Speeding Bullet
~~~Another traveling testimony...Upon getting back to Toronto from Finland I still had no definite way of getting home (no plane tickets yet purchased). I looked them up and they were about $900 so that was a no go. I then proceeded to make other plans with some girls driving through my area. Their plans fell through 3 days later and weren't going so I now had 2 days to figure out plans before I got kicked out of the building with all my stuff. I asked two Americans who drive my way for a ride. One was a possibility but that fell through graduation night. So we're supposed to be having an after party and I have 15 hours to figure out what I'm going to do. A thought was to bus to Buffalo and get a cheaper flight but the issue was I drove to TO so I had more than the allowed limit for a plane. Grr. Wow, was I on the fritz. Finally I was resigned to drive home with my friend, Amber (from PA) and figure out what next when I got there. Eventually I got a plane ticket and shipped some of my stuff and flew out Saturday. God is so good. I needed that extra day with at least one person from school to ease me back into "real" culture, but I really didn't need all the emotional turmoil figuring out a way home while going through the duress of leaving about 60 of the most amazing people I've ever gotten close to.
~~~Good-byes at SOM were ridiculously hard and a completely new experience. I have never been that close to that many people (due to heart issues that kept everyone away). These people have been a huge part of my life, my growth, and now my heart. Tears were flowing, and it was hard being one of the first to leave. Ahh...I need more time with them!
~~~HOME: first week was terrible. Since I have recognized this as a bit of a recooperation time, I took it easy the rest week, but that meant that I was at home all by myself. Partly good, but majorly awful...I don't have roommates or room neighbors with whom to bounce emotions off or hang out or discuss God. Talk about suck. Relationship are a good thing. This is what I have found. Finally. :)
~~~What now? The question of the century for sure. Well, the supporters to the idea that I stay in Indianapolis can certainly come up with things for me to do. Amazing, I wonder where they were last summer when I need time-occupiers? Oh, well. This just goes to show that God will take care of me and bless me no matter where I stay or go. There were opportunities in TO, there are opportunities here, but I don't feel led to live in either place at the moment. And part of me doesn't want to anyway. Currently I'm looking to intern at CTF Raleigh so we'll see how God is moving His hand in that.
~~~Faithfulness. This is what I've asked God to show me and He has been faithful to do so. :) haha. And even still there are wonderful opportunities for Him to come through for me. I'm sure I will never run out of ways I need Him to rescue me or provide for me or love me. I'm so glad that I serve a God who desired to do all these things for me before I needed them. yay. So now I need a job when I get to Raleigh and I need a car to get me there. Can't wait to see how this pans out. I'm expecting a good story.
Peace.
~~~Good-byes at SOM were ridiculously hard and a completely new experience. I have never been that close to that many people (due to heart issues that kept everyone away). These people have been a huge part of my life, my growth, and now my heart. Tears were flowing, and it was hard being one of the first to leave. Ahh...I need more time with them!
~~~HOME: first week was terrible. Since I have recognized this as a bit of a recooperation time, I took it easy the rest week, but that meant that I was at home all by myself. Partly good, but majorly awful...I don't have roommates or room neighbors with whom to bounce emotions off or hang out or discuss God. Talk about suck. Relationship are a good thing. This is what I have found. Finally. :)
~~~What now? The question of the century for sure. Well, the supporters to the idea that I stay in Indianapolis can certainly come up with things for me to do. Amazing, I wonder where they were last summer when I need time-occupiers? Oh, well. This just goes to show that God will take care of me and bless me no matter where I stay or go. There were opportunities in TO, there are opportunities here, but I don't feel led to live in either place at the moment. And part of me doesn't want to anyway. Currently I'm looking to intern at CTF Raleigh so we'll see how God is moving His hand in that.
~~~Faithfulness. This is what I've asked God to show me and He has been faithful to do so. :) haha. And even still there are wonderful opportunities for Him to come through for me. I'm sure I will never run out of ways I need Him to rescue me or provide for me or love me. I'm so glad that I serve a God who desired to do all these things for me before I needed them. yay. So now I need a job when I get to Raleigh and I need a car to get me there. Can't wait to see how this pans out. I'm expecting a good story.
Peace.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
testimony time
Fun story for you.
Coming back to Toronto from Finland we flew to JFK on Finnair, the most amazing airline I have ever traveled with. Our flight landed and we got off around 4pm and our connecting flight was to leave around 6pm. Cutting it kinda close already this did not take into consideration the fact that our connecting flight was to leave out of LaGuardia, meaning that we would have to take a cab there. Also there was the issue of getting through customs. Welcome to the American immigration system...aka terrible. The three Americans got through fine comparatively speaking - we still had to wait a long time because there were only two officials on duty. Not smart. The poor non-Americans had to go through a mile-long line to be checked and there were nine of them. Joe, Carter, and I pulled all the baggage and waited for the others. By the time we finally got the whole team together it was 5:15. Umm, will we make this flight?
So we start heading...um who knows where because we certainly didn't know where we were going. We had to back track to give our suitcases back because they had been tagged through to TO and then we head off. Well, then we have to go back because well, we don't have any boarding passes so where are we going to go? As we stand at the counter we were asked why we didn't have our boarding passes by at least three people at least seven times. Well, Helsinki should have given them to you. Why didn't Helsinki give them to you?
Now it is 5:40 and we are freaking out and all praying in words and tongues under our breathes and the lady helping us is freaking out. There is no way we will get a taxi and make it to LaGuardia in time but there is a flight that leaves from JFK but it's scheduled for 5:55 and like I said, no one has their boarding passes. A wonderful man calls and asks them to hold the plane which they agree to (P.T.L.) and the lady frantically prints off our passes sending each us off as soon as we get ours. "RUN!!! GOOOO!!!" It's all coming along until they get to Peter who is South Korean and Philip whose passport wasn't working (??). We all go, run through security, and dash through the terminal to the very last gate in the airport.
All are sweating by the time we get there. I have never been that late for a plane. You could tell they were inches away from closing the door without us but we came trickling in, but I was looking for Peter and Philip, desperately hoping they did not have to stay a night in New York without us. Finally they showed up too with their own story!!! YAY. It was such a relief to know our whole team was on the same flight and that we could just get home and not have to stay in NY for a time (even though Joe lives there and would have taken very good care of us). Sorry to all those on the plane who waited 40min for all of us to get on the plane. I think we finally left around 6:30. Amazing they waited for us. Thank you, Jesus.
And all our luggage was at Pearson when we got there. yay.
Another funny thing...Carter who was born in Canada but lives in America had to go through secondary security when we got to Toronto. Guess they didn't believe he was Canadian. haha.
Coming back to Toronto from Finland we flew to JFK on Finnair, the most amazing airline I have ever traveled with. Our flight landed and we got off around 4pm and our connecting flight was to leave around 6pm. Cutting it kinda close already this did not take into consideration the fact that our connecting flight was to leave out of LaGuardia, meaning that we would have to take a cab there. Also there was the issue of getting through customs. Welcome to the American immigration system...aka terrible. The three Americans got through fine comparatively speaking - we still had to wait a long time because there were only two officials on duty. Not smart. The poor non-Americans had to go through a mile-long line to be checked and there were nine of them. Joe, Carter, and I pulled all the baggage and waited for the others. By the time we finally got the whole team together it was 5:15. Umm, will we make this flight?
So we start heading...um who knows where because we certainly didn't know where we were going. We had to back track to give our suitcases back because they had been tagged through to TO and then we head off. Well, then we have to go back because well, we don't have any boarding passes so where are we going to go? As we stand at the counter we were asked why we didn't have our boarding passes by at least three people at least seven times. Well, Helsinki should have given them to you. Why didn't Helsinki give them to you?
Now it is 5:40 and we are freaking out and all praying in words and tongues under our breathes and the lady helping us is freaking out. There is no way we will get a taxi and make it to LaGuardia in time but there is a flight that leaves from JFK but it's scheduled for 5:55 and like I said, no one has their boarding passes. A wonderful man calls and asks them to hold the plane which they agree to (P.T.L.) and the lady frantically prints off our passes sending each us off as soon as we get ours. "RUN!!! GOOOO!!!" It's all coming along until they get to Peter who is South Korean and Philip whose passport wasn't working (??). We all go, run through security, and dash through the terminal to the very last gate in the airport.
All are sweating by the time we get there. I have never been that late for a plane. You could tell they were inches away from closing the door without us but we came trickling in, but I was looking for Peter and Philip, desperately hoping they did not have to stay a night in New York without us. Finally they showed up too with their own story!!! YAY. It was such a relief to know our whole team was on the same flight and that we could just get home and not have to stay in NY for a time (even though Joe lives there and would have taken very good care of us). Sorry to all those on the plane who waited 40min for all of us to get on the plane. I think we finally left around 6:30. Amazing they waited for us. Thank you, Jesus.
And all our luggage was at Pearson when we got there. yay.
Another funny thing...Carter who was born in Canada but lives in America had to go through secondary security when we got to Toronto. Guess they didn't believe he was Canadian. haha.
Emotions Running Wild
it's been a crazy week. i've enjoyed being back in toronto for this brief stint and am looking forward to going home, seeing family, and jumping into what's next. coming back and seeing everyone - my family of 58 - and hearing all the outreach stories has been amazing. i love them all incredibly and i love living with them. the hard thing has been all the goodbyes. we had to say goodbye to the wonderful friends that we made in finland - though we were only there three weeks, i don't doubt we will be friends for quite some time. now we have to prepare ourselves to say goodbye, or at least "see you later", to the group of the most incredible people i have ever met in one place. i have never been somewhere where i genuinely love every single person in the group and have enjoyed living with them. ahh my heart breaks that we must leave this place of intimate community. other the other hand better food, my own room, and decent exercise is calling my name as well.
tonight is graduation! can't believe it is already here and that it is today. these past five months have been absolutely life-changing, exciting, and just what i needed. i can't imagine my life without them...i'm positive i would have been a complete and utter wreck. wow, God is good.
then there is what comes next. it feels like standing on a cliff and getting pushed off. no control over where your body goes and nothing you mind can do about falling. this is of course not true, but that is the feeling. i'm currently sorting things out and then hopefully after a month in indy i will be moving south. i'm excited to keep moving forward. not much gets down when we stand still and right now that is my biggest fear. thank you, God, that you are in control.
and then there is how to get home....that has kind of been an ordeal. hopefully i'll be home in the states this weekend....or who knows. pray for me.
peace.
tonight is graduation! can't believe it is already here and that it is today. these past five months have been absolutely life-changing, exciting, and just what i needed. i can't imagine my life without them...i'm positive i would have been a complete and utter wreck. wow, God is good.
then there is what comes next. it feels like standing on a cliff and getting pushed off. no control over where your body goes and nothing you mind can do about falling. this is of course not true, but that is the feeling. i'm currently sorting things out and then hopefully after a month in indy i will be moving south. i'm excited to keep moving forward. not much gets down when we stand still and right now that is my biggest fear. thank you, God, that you are in control.
and then there is how to get home....that has kind of been an ordeal. hopefully i'll be home in the states this weekend....or who knows. pray for me.
peace.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Más y Más
This outreach has been amazing. Really there are no words and I'm not sure if I am truly aware of everything that happened here. God knows and I definitely hope it was a load more than I realize. I trust Him that it is.
And while this trip has been about ministering to others, preaching, and leading worship, I feel I have gotten more out of this trip than those we have come to meet. And it's not in that mission trip way that the people have impacted a change in my heart. That has happen in a way but really it's just God still working on the issues that haven't been resolved in my heart and that have a lot of healing left. I love it. And I think I have finally accepted the fact that this is a journey and that healing is a process. As many times as I heard this I hated the thought and wanted improvement to be immediate but now I'm ok with how it works. It's a journey. And I'm going to enjoy the ride.
So tomorrow we leave for Toronto. Can't wait to catch up with friends on other teams; I have missed them so much. And, though quite surreal, I'm headed to Indy a week from today though I haven't purchased a ticket yet. Errrr.... I'll do that soon I guess. And then I don't really know what is next but thankfully I am not stressed about it. That doesn't mean that I will do nothing, but I'm not going to lose sleep over it. God has been constantly reminding me that He has plans for me and that they are good and that He cares about my destiny and so I don't have to worry about it. yay.
And so this chapter soon ends and the next begins.
Peace.
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